(posted on Tuesday, Sept. 15th, 2009)
Lots of thoughts go through a father’s mind when his daughter is in the hospital. Especially when that daughter is being admitted because of seizures and the results of an MRI that showed abnormalities in her brain.
Here's Drew, Kaitlyn and Alex on their first day of school -- and Drew's shirt is a bit of encouragement even for today! :)
After taking over from Kristi yesterday and sleeping in the hospital room with Alexandria last night, I was grateful for Kristi’s return today to help Alex cope with three servings of the anti-seizure medication Ativan — a nasty drug that turned my precious Alex into one of those mental psych ward patients who can’t even move their lips right to make the the words and sentences they are thinking in their head. So frustrating! And when she finally started coming out of that, she had so many mood swings and strong emotions that are totally unlike her. But it all made sense as she repeated over and over that she didn’t want to be in the prison that she was feeling — knowing full well what she wanting to think, only to not be able to express it — knowing that she wanted to watch TV, only to be discouraged by the wobbly double-vision — and wanting and trying to sit up, only to be confronted with dizziness that in her words “pushed her back down into the bed.”
Kristi and I have been taking turns caring for Alex at the hospital in between managing the schedules and well-being of Dew and Kaitlyn. And tonight we were finally able to be all together in Alex’s room … and not only us! Alex’s good friend Aubrey and her mom Vickie and our friends John and Sarah were all there to share supper together along with lots of smiles and encouragement. And amazingly, we all fit nicely into the oversized room with which we have been blessed.
So we’re through a day and a half in the hospital, and the doctors are thinking Alex will be in until Friday (another three days). They will be roughly doubling the anti-seizure medication dosage that she’s been on for about seven years. And then if her seizures are under control by Thursday, they’ll do a minor surgery to repair the VNS device that is now malfunctioning. And after all of that, the pediatric neurologists and a neurosurgeon will continue to study and consider what needs to be done about the strange shape that last night’s MRI showed to be in the left hemisphere of Alexandria’s brain.
Today we were able to provide the neuro-experts with a CD of images from an MRI that was performed four years ago … so we’re hoping that comparing the old MRI with the new MRI will give the doctors some clear insight into what is happening and what might need to be done.
So that’s what’s been happening! Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement — we are part of such a huge support group! And this makes such a huge difference to me personally. Because somehow, even in the heart of a father who has cried for my daughter a lot over the past few days — there is now a peace that is deeper than my abilities and even those of the doctors. Because I know it is all going to work out.